S.K.R.A.A.M

BIKES!!!!!

2007-02-14T10:08:00.000-05:00

Beyond exciting. Very very very very very very cool!

12 February

2007-02-12T05:03:00.000-05:00

4 months today we leave Oceanside CA. 4 months. Doesn't feel like a lot of time.

I've been off my bike for a bit working on 'Total Fitness' as Dennis likes to call it. Fine tuning diet, strength and cardio. Working out every morning at the gym, on skiis Saturday and Sunday. New sport - skate skiing - compliments the bike perfectly. Nice.

There's not a bunch more to say at the moment. Slow moving still with sponsorship. Worried a little about the fundraising party in June/July - need to find someone in whose hands I can put that.

The bikes should be done this week - can't wait to see them. We'll be riding them at the bike show first week of march.

That's it for now. Completely consumed at work and that's a tunnel that looks long and dark. Working hard to keep my head in the light and focussed on June somewhat.

Friday Night, Saturday Morning

2007-02-03T05:31:00.000-05:00

Wow. Worked out yesterday morning at the gym. Circuit training. Had a breakdance (I know, I know) lesson midday and then stepped on the ice for a spell while the stunt men trained barrel jumping. I was so tired by late afternoon I could hardly believe it.

Out like a light by 7 and change. All night wanting to get up to turn out lights and lock doors and phone people to say good night or that I couldn't come out - but it was all impossible.

4 am I woke.

My legs and back are tired. My heart rate - 59 upon waking - is a little high. Going to work now and then, possibly, go cross country skiing with the boy on my back this afternoon.

Topsy Turvy

2007-02-02T05:51:00.000-05:00

We simply couldn't have known but it would have been good to have started this thing about a year ago.

Sponsorship is the biggest problem. Companies are in, companies are out. It's hard to order jerseys and shorts without knowing what logos we're putting on them.

The overall response to this thing is super positive. We've got good people backing us in the right places. A camera and light equipment house - Cinequip/Whites - came on board last night and it looks like they are going to be very helpful with our new camera set up. We bought one yesterday but we're taking it back today in order to replace it with another - same camera, better deal.

Started working out with my coach Dennis Mizerski this week. Wow. Seems like I had it all wrong. Like all wrong. I'm a low cadence cyclist, not a spinsy high cadence - the exact opposite of the assumption I've been working under. We did some testing at the beginning of the week that pinpoints this. Low cadence cyclists - Jan Ullrich - turn bigger gears more slowly whereas high cadence cyclists - Lance Armstrong - turn smaller gears faster. One is not better than the other. I've always assumed, because of my body type, that I was a high cadence cyclist. The testing we did measured cadence - the number of times I turn the crank on the bike in one minute (RPM), heart rate, and wattage - the amount of power I'm generating at the back wheel. The idea for RAAM is to get my wattage as high as possible while remaining aerobic - my heartrate within a certain, moderately untaxed zone. Lactic acid - the poison one's muscles begin to generate when the body goes anaerobic - is a bad thing in an endurance race such as RAAM. But we still need power. So we now work to improve my wattage output at lower heartrates.

So this test determined that at a cadence of 95 I was putting out 200 watts at a heart rate in the high 150's whereas at between 70 and 75 RPM I was generating 200 + watts at high 130's, low 140's. The latter is a much more efficiently run motor. Same power output using less fuel. The idea now is to train my body to be able to generate 200 watts for six hours at the same heart rate.

So we're working Total Body Fitness now. Circuit training at the gym. Wattage minded riding on the bike. Getting my body into the best possible shape - strong core, good heart, efficient muscles - so that we can begin to refine in a month or so.

Rest is key. I'm also not eating perfectly well and need more strength in my core and upper body. Diet is getting a lot of attention at the momentl.

Off to the gym now. Then to work. We go to camera on Monday. Lots going on.

Resting = 53

a separate and complete 'why'

2007-01-27T07:21:00.000-05:00

Misleading.

2007-01-22T04:51:00.000-05:00

I think that the last post's headline was misleading. We received a thoughful comment from Sid that posed a good philosophical argument on the ephemeral nature of the material world. Reading it I realized that I'd missed conveying what I was trying to say because I didn't relate it back in any way. This had actually occured to me a couple of times after writing it and before reading Sid's comment. I'd meant to go back and address it.

What is real wasn't what I was after - intentionality was. While I agree with Sid that mastery in some ways is best achieved by not trying to achieve it, I do like the application and development of mastery as Leonard teaches it and I think that I can apply now. Or attempt to apply at least.

The last post began referencing the early abstraction of my view of the ride. It all felt so big and so foreign, a little like a dream and a little like a nightmare; both the monster in the closet and heaven at the same time. I could only try and imagine what it was 'really' like and the information I had on the race up until then was primarily subjective, broken into bits and moments, and all pretty fantastic. It was hard not to form a rather grand picture. But then things calmed down and slowly the dream became more and more 'real'. As the monotony and the drone and the road trip and the week of it were conveyed to me effectively by people who'd done it before the big began to settle, the abstract found a more familiar form in that I had an empirical understanding of some of its parts.

In the building of the transistor radio the inventor had a working knowledge of its parts and set to putting on paper how those parts would form a whole that would transmit sound through the air from a box smaller than it had been transmitted from before. From the imaged to the applied.

That is what RAAM is becoming for me and I intend to use Leonard's approach to help me bridge from the imaged demons-in-the-closet view of the race to the applied reality of Atlantic City sometime in mid-June.

And I'm still not over the fact that the wise words of Conan the Barbarian are going to help me do that.

What is Really Real? Leonard on Intentionality.

2007-01-20T05:18:00.000-05:00

Understand that I broach this subject with great care. My fear of pomp is real. It's just that this book, 'Mastery' by George Leonard, has got me by the short and curlies and he keeps putting words and definition to the things that I wonder about.

Early on in this blog I talked about how abstract RAAM seemed to me. Sitting here, considering how the title of this post relates to all manner of things I also think about Cancer. Both RAAM and Cancer are abstract concepts to me. I can't imagine what either is or how I might react to being suddenly faced with one or both of them. Reading this section of the book last night brought some clarity and I realize that whether it be riding a difficult bike race, fighting a potentially fatal disease, writing a television series or recreating a famous Pete Mahovlich goal from the 1972 Canada-Russia Summit Series the abstract can, perhaps must, give way to something else and that something else is a fantastic tool for success, however you define that.

Leonard writes:

How do we explain the discrepancy between the mechanical and the imaged application?

He goes on to use, as an example, a technique he uses in aikido. It wouldn't make sense to talk about it here. Basically, however, he's talking about images he uses - three foot long fingers reaching down through the head to the spine to make a particular throw effortless. Though it takes much muscular effort to carry out, with the use of imagery it feels effortless. And he speaks of the seemingly 'miraculous' applications of the technique working only when the mental image is vividly clear. He continues:

Which brings us to the question of what is really "real." Is consciousness a mere epiphenomenon, as behaiourist B.F. Skinner would have it? Or is the poet William Blake right in suggesting that mental things alone are real? Or, if mental constructs and the stuff of the objective world are both real, though occupying different classes of reality, then what is the nature of the interaction between the two classes? These are large questions. Still, it's possible to say rather briefly (and obviously) that thought, images, feelings, and the like are quite real and that they do have a great influence on the world of matter and energy. Indeed, it's possible to argue that pure information is more persistent that what we class as substantial - or perhaps that both are at essence the same thing. "More and more, the universe looks like a great thought rather than a great machine," says astronomer Sir James Jeans.

He goes on to talk of how vivid Solomon's Temple can be when reading the Bible or Scarlett O'Hara and Anna Karenina when reading their stories. But this one is my favourite:

Your portable transistor radio is certainly real: you can feel it in your hands. But so is the wiring diagram for that radio, and so is that diagram as it evolved in the mind of the inventor. Which is more real? It's hard to say. While the underlying structure, the abstract relationship among the parts, is the same in all three forms, it can be argued that what is most abstract is most fundamental and often most persistent over time. The diagram or the mental picture will probably outlast the radio you hold in your hands. And these insubstantial forms have an additional advantage: if you want to make changes in the relationships of the parts, it's easier to do so in the diagram or the mind than in the three-dimensional radio.

What's the role of intentionality here? It's certainly involved in the transformation of that structure from one of its forms to another. This sort of transformation, in fact, is what the process of mastery is all about.

Thoughts, images, and feelings are indeeed quite real. Einstein's thought that energy is equal to mass times the speed of light squared eventually unleashed awesome power. The transformation of that thought into heat and percussion was a long and arduous process. Still, the thought, the vision, the intentionality, was primary.

"All I know," said Arnold Schwarzenneger, "is that the first step is to create the vision, because when you see the vision there - the beautiful vision - that creates the 'want power.' For example, my wanting to be Mr. Universe came about because I saw myself so clearly, being up there on the stage and winning."

Intentionality fuels the master's journey. Every master is a master of vision.

I've got nothing to say. Arnie said it all.

I'm going to sit with my eyes closed and find my 'want power.'

Billy Jr. and Georgia Dub.

2007-01-19T06:18:00.000-05:00

My business partner and his wife, and my dear friend, Michelle have hawked out a real beauty. Though he wasn't actually named after me I shall maintain forever more that he was - his middle name is William you see and that is my nickname so...Alexander William will always be Little Billy Jr. to me. Zark has insisted that Joe's middle name - he doesn't have one at the moment - be Zark. Joe Zark Bolton. Done (in a very informal way. It won't be on his driver's license). Congratulations Michelle and Zark.

Two of my closest friends in all the land, Robin and Matt, have gobbed forth little Georgia White - Georgia Dub or G Dub to me. She's stunning like a baby. We had coffee last Sunday - her one week birthday - and she cuddled with her Uncle Roomie for a long bit taking me back to nearly three years ago when my lovely son was swaddled and on my chest filling me with a joy that I'll not soon see matched. Congratulations Robina and Matt-chew.

Two more reasons to ride.

John Oswald

2007-01-19T05:51:00.000-05:00

Focusing on a goal is good. Or perhaps it's better to have goals and a desire to reach them but to focus on the journey. I think that's where I've been mixed up in the past. I am a journey man without a doubt. I've never subscribed to goals. The arrival of Chris Szarka in my life is changing that. Slowly. Much too slow for his liking but that's how it goes.

RAAM is a big journey with different goals, not all of them fully developed yet. The big and easy goal - not to achieve but to set - is finishing the race while raising funds and awareness for Sick Kids. These are the Meta goals. I'll talk more about what else I hope to achieve in the near future.

But the journey!? Man I love the journey. And here's why - if I were focused on the goal I'd miss how fantastic a stop along the way can be regardless of whether it proceeds beyond that or not. I guess I'm talking about being present. And there is success in being present.

To wit - my last Saturday conversation with John Oswald. We sat on couches at The Edward Day Gallery - thank you Mary Sue, thank you Kelly - and talked. Conversation is good. Conversation with someone who can converse is great. Conversation with someone who can converse about a common idea/goal can be transcendent. Presence and a state of openness in a conversation like that can, if you'll let it, help to develop an idea in ways you would never think of on your own. But you will miss those ideas, that opportunity for development if you have in your head what you want your idea to be and you're closed off to it being anything other than that. I'm learning to let my ideas be bigger than me and isn't that swell because I'm a small guy. Ideas want to be huge and it takes a team most times to make them so.

We approached John Oswald, a multi-disciplinary artist from Toronto, to do a piece on our RAAM bid that we could then auction off to further raise funds for the cause. I had a very distinct idea of what I wanted it to be. John e mailed me back saying that he wasn't sure that he was the man for the job but that we should get together to talk about it nevertheless.

The opportunity to talk with a creative talent like John Oswald is something one should capitalize no matter what. It's an opportunity afterall.

It was truly a lovely discussion. It meandered in every way to Sunday and was like, for me, a roller coaster at an amusement park, ups, downs and sideways I didn't see coming but that were exhilirating when they did. It served me too, beneficial in that I got to talk about what SKRAAM is and what we hope it can be - something I need practice at - plus I got to listen to a very bright man's take on that. He's not a cyclist, he's an artist, and I guess in some way so are we. We need to adopt the same attitude so that we may flow with the inspiration come June. As I spoke about something I knew only in the abstract but also quite well - riding a bike (the part I know well) for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week ( the part I don't) he flew all around it with attached/unattached ideas. We both went off on tangents but, ultimately, I felt that we were anchored by the same thing which was a desire to work together on something SKRAAM related. It wasn't the idea I knew when I arrived for the talk but it was the idea evolved through collaboration. I was left with the responsibility of letting go of what this could be and listening to what it had become in this man's mind and then again via our interaction. It was brilliant. And, in the end, it was whole. A complete experience.

While John has a terrific idea for a piece that reaches a lot of goals for all of us the conversation, in and of itself, was more than I could ever hope for in a collaborative sense. We walked away from one another committing to the next step on the road towards our goal of working together. The journey we will take in steps.

Just as, when we ride, Sam and I will be looking up the road for the next landmark - a bridge, a roadsign, a bright light at night - that will break the huge goal of pedalling into Atlantic City into a string of smaller, yet equally important successes along the way.

SSSLLLLLOOOOWWWWWWW

2007-01-19T05:28:00.000-05:00

My patience is being tested on every front and I love it. Reading a book called 'Mastery' by George Leonard that is all about these times - he calls them plateaus. The learning happens on the plateau. Funny that one of my fa....strange actually that a few of my bibles all point to this exact same theory.

'Solace of Open Spaces' by Gretel Ehrlich is the story of life on the Wyoming range - the plateau. Ehrlich was a busy, high falutin' New York filmmaker with her husband gone out to the Big Horns to make a doc about life there. He develops a fatal disease, returns to New York to die and she stays in Wyoming to learn what it has to teach her. Life on the plateau. Viscious and expansive.

'The Writing Life' by Annie Dillard. More of the same but in a different form - staring at the page, the screen, horizontal blinds on the windows at her favourite library - moving through the doubting zones into that place that is flat, broad and calm. The place where the brain can do its thing.

'Seven Story Mountain' by Thomas Merton. Life of an ascetic. A very bright, rule breaking ascetic. Just my kind.

So what's my plateau? I'm buried in work, my chest is not clearing up, and I want to spend every moment I can with my son before I pull into the 'production hole' at work. I can't ride 3 hours a day at the moment. I can't ride outside either. Plus the sponsorship front for the team is slow. It's moving but it is slow. Plus I've hit a period of serious closure in my relationship with Joe's mom that is big and difficult. Looking for the positive way we can be to give Joe the best platform from which to Strive.

Torque. Remember Torque Bolton.

So what can I do? I can learn about what this time has to teach me. I've juggled things - moved my production period to the mornings 4 am to 8 am. Yoga, weights, brain activity. My parents are helping me out a great deal, taking Joe one of the weekend days so that I can continue to work. I'll have him for weekends for the next two months, his mother graciously taking him during the weeks including mine.

It's not fun parenting this way but it is what it is. It will be his plateau.

My diet is coming along beautifully. Working hard to cut out the sugar and processed foods. It's tremendously difficult to do but worth it. Coffee is next. Good luck!

Loving it. Hard but loving it.

I Miss You

2007-01-11T06:49:00.000-05:00

Thursday morning and I'm still under the weather though in a different way. The fever broke - thank you Linda - and I'm sleeping again but the cough remains persistent and the infection hasn't gone anywhere. As much as I hate to do it I'm going to run a course of antibiotics. The upside - getting back on my game and my bike - outweighs the downside - taking crappy antibiotics.

Sam and I have been playing phone tag for three days. He's been incredibly supportive while I've been down. If I didn't know better I'd say he's jockeying to get his name on my bike. I must admit that it worked and I shall post him there at once. He's earned it by making me feel so special.

Before I forget - slideshows of the journey. Present them to groups/businesses/etc as a fundraising initiative. Love to tie this in to my 'Learn-to-Lead not Tend-towards-Tyrant' crusade.

Haven't spoken to Mary in a few days. Miss her. She's hard at it though I know. Sick Kids has stepped up their attention to us which is encouraging. We got a nice e mail from the President of the Foundation last week. Scott at Boomerang is gunning to help us with the website and that's fantastic. Haven't spoken to Bell since the break but we're speaking with bike companies and holistic health companies this afternoon.

Things are good. If something gets done every day then we're in good stead.

Keep on keepin' on.

Change Your Life

2007-01-10T16:20:00.000-05:00

To find out how check out the January 2007 edition of Outside Magazine.

Chinese Doctor

2007-01-09T09:50:00.000-05:00

A friend took me to see a Chinese doctor yesterday morning. I was at my wit's end with the sick.

I must say what a gift that was. Seriously. Linda read my meridians and my pulse - in Chinese meds there are three points in the wrist, I believe, and the doctor reads your health by applying varying pressure to their fingers - as if they were playing a trumpet. She got it all right it seems.

Then she hooked me up with some serious acupuncture - top of the head to my shins - followed by some cupping on my back. It was my right side that took a beating, front and back, suggesting a consistent read on Linda's part as she discussed what each of the painful moments meant.

They meant that I was sick. And that my lungs were full of unwelcome crits.

By day's end - I was in bed by 8 - I was feeling 50 % better and enjoyed a 60% better sleep.

The herbal tea I have to drink?

It's not nice.

Sick

2007-01-08T06:54:00.000-05:00

Man am I ill. It's funny - I was gunning for the new year to get here so that the big block of downtime that is Christmas would be out of the way and we could return to our jobs, our training, and our planning.

And then I get felled.

I wonder how long I'll be out.

Be Great

2006-12-27T08:15:00.000-05:00

Gorgeous walk through Prospect Park yesterday. Two beautiful moments collided into one another just before we exited: the whine of a remote controlled airplane caught our attention. A man launched what was no doubt a Christmas present into the open air of the sheep field while his son manned the radio. It was a bit Wright Brothers - the plane didn't stay in the air very long and the man had maybe a bit too much advice for his scion piloto. But when the boy put it down 200 feet on, without a bump, the man turned to his boy looking as though he had more advice. But what he really had was a big ol' hand in the air. He gave his son the feels-good-from-your-dad high five.

Which is when the lovely man with the fantastic face started chatting us up from his bench. He had lots to say. We talked back some but kept walking, denying him the stop and engage he might have been looking for. He wrapped up the little exchange by telling us to 'Be Great'.

Be Great. Don't Be Good, well, or okay. Don't be mediocre or what-you-can-be or fine. Be Great.

Be is a good word.

So is great.

The two of them together suggests we strive for something beyond us. This seems a common theme in my world today - everyone around me striving to be greater than they were the moment before.

The piloto boy was being great and his dad was too. So was the man on the bench with the fantastic face.

Be Great.

Christmas Day

2006-12-25T08:37:00.000-05:00

Some downtime. Not much and I'm going to have to get jiggy with work upon return so...

The team is going to have to take the reins for a while. There's so much going on and the team assembled thus far is frighteningly capable. I'm not worried. Just a lot of balls in the air so we'll have to put together a good plan to make sure all the bases are covered by the right people.

Baby Z has edited some video from a morning ride last week. I can't put it up on the blog but as soon as our site is up and running I'll put it there.

Going to spend the day - partially on the bike, partially with my son and our family.

Merry Christmas everyone. See you hitting the ground running on Wednesday.

Best,

cb

Meet The Boys

2006-12-23T08:32:00.000-05:00

Sam Babe on the left.

Christopher Bolton on the right.

Both times.

Kevin Wallace

2006-12-18T22:34:00.001-05:00

This guy is inspiring.

http://www.teamrace.com/raam/index.html

...really really inspiring.

A note from a dear friend...

2006-12-17T12:14:00.001-05:00

From Chogyam Trungpa's "Celebrating the Journey":

When you begin to experience the fundamental notion of fearlessness, you are willing to be awake in whatever situation may present itself to you. You feel that you can take command of your life altogether, because you are not on the side of either success or failure. Success and failure are your journey.

Of course, you may still experience fear within the context of fearlessness. There may be times on your journey when you are so petrified that you vibrate in the saddle, from your teeth to your hands to your legs. You are hardly sitting on the horse - you are practically levitating with fear.

But even that is regarded as an expression of fearlessness, if you have a fundamental connection with the earth of your basic goodness.

Buddhism is funny. There's really never a wrong turn - you can be soiling your drawers and that's considered a symbol of fearlessness. I just think its dirty.

The Call to Adventure

2006-12-16T08:22:00.000-05:00

Hilarious. I've been dancing around this book (Joseph Campbell's 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces') for a few years now - trying to find a way to explore it, not just read it. During Tour For Kids this past summer I met a man who lives it, uses it as a teaching tool for coaching Major Kids Hockey, and used it to motivate Kevin through his solo bid last year. It's about finding the 'hero' inside. (Note - it's not the Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford hero we're discussing here. No delusions of grandeur at play)

Play this against the last post - Faith

The Call to Adventure

This first stage of the mythological journey - which we have designated the 'call to adventure' - signifies that destiny has summoned the hero and transferred his spiritual center of gravity from with the pale of his society to a zone unknown.

This fateful region of both treasure and danger may be variously represented: as a distant land, a forest, a kingdom underground, beneath the waves, or above the sky, a secret island, lofty mountaintop, or profound dream state; but it is always a place of strangely fluid and polymorphous being, unimaginable torments, superhuman deeds, and impossible delight.

The Herald

This call comes from a herald who spontaneously appears in the psyche that is ripe for transformation. A story to illustrate.

A girl sees a porcupine near a tree and throws a hammer at it trying to take it out. She misses and the porcupine runs round the back of the tree and begins to climb. The girl follows. Friends and family watch from below as the girl chases the porcupine that always stays just out of reach. When she begins to get uncomfortably high the people below call out to her to retreat. She says no can do I want the porcupine for its quills and will go all the way to the top to get them. She continues up.

The porcupine is at the top of the tree now and looks doomed as the girl closes in on her. But, just when we think it's over, a miraculous thing happens: the tree sprouts up higher and the porcupine continues to climb. The girl stops and looks down at her friends and family beckoning her to descend. She has, however, fallen under the influence of the porcupine - her herald - and fearful of retreating back into the world she's come from and knows, she continues upwards and, together with the porcupine, reaches the sky.

I remember Al saying something about making promises bigger than ourselves so that we may grow to fulfill them.

One little problem - I might have made the porcupine something different. It's hard not to think about the fact that it could just fill that little girl full of quills and that's it, adventure no happen, herald still just a varmint back on the ground diggin' stuff up.

Faith

2006-12-15T22:04:00.000-05:00

Just left yoga. It was a fantastic session lead by my friend Fiona and I left feeling, as I feel now, sort of high. The high that people talk about what comes from good health and purity and striving. Endorphin high I guess except that, with yoga, it's sort of different.

I have to not be cynical about these states for the next several months and if I can not be cynical about these states for the next several months then I can not be cynical about these states forever. RAAM is going to be a spiritual journey for me. Without a doubt. And I am cynical about spiritual journey's. Doesn't mean I don't believe in them. I do. I really do. I'm just...this is for Kira...I'm measured about them.

But I'm going on one. I know its true and its essential that I accept and invest in it.

Because it's going to be a big big part of my 'why'.

I am chasing demons with this. That's not my sole reason for doing it but it is a driver. Don't know what the demons are or why they exist but I know they do. If pressed I'd say that I'm looking for proof of something much, much bigger than my self or my place here. Why? Because I know in my gut that there's something else and I know it's colossal and I suppose I need a way to measure it.

RAAM is so terrifyingly larger than anything I've ever known. I can't do RAAM. Seriously, I can't. Not by myself. I need help.

There is lots I can do to make myself 'better' than I am and thus more equipped to ride the ride: I can train better and more specifically, more period and more honestly; I can eat not mostly right but completely right; I can abstain from sex and booze and greasy food and I can sleep a lot; I can be absolutely scientific about every aspect of it.

But I can't make magic and I can't make faith. No, that's not entirely correct. I mean, magic doesn't factor. Forget magic. One can't slight-of-hand their way through RAAM. David Copperfield would stand no better chance than I...can't say that for certain, the guy could be Bruce Jenner fit, I don't know. All's I'm sayin' is that Abracadabra doesn't bring Atlantic City into view any faster or any easier. And the disappearing Lady Liberty simply didn't happen.

But faith is a different thing - faith is trust, right? To have faith in someone is to trust them. But having faith is different than Faith on it's own. Having faith is an active decision to trust. Faith on it's own just is. It's belief in something unfathomable, unknowable, untrustable. Maybe it is magical.

Take my favourite (unattributable though I want to say Dickinson) quote: water is 2 parts Hydrogen, 1 part Oxygen and a third thing that makes it water...

...yup, nope, it doesn't actually make my case. I guess I just like the quote.

But wait, maybe it does. I actually do believe in that 3rd thing despite the fact that I have no idea what it is. I don't get 2 parts Hydrogen or 1 part Oxygen but I totally get and trust in the je ne sais quoi third thing that makes water water. It's the wet right, and the blue or green, and the float and the life. I have faith in it and in it's place in H2O.

Sound like a crock? Perhaps.

But I read once someone describing one of my heroe's - Henry Agard Wallace - as seeing God in the full dairy pail. I read that and got it instantly.

So what does this all mean?

It means I am going to do all the right things in the name of science, anatomy, athletics, biology, nutrition etc so that I am prepared to get within striking distance of finishing RAAM.

Beyond that I am going to strive to expand my mind so that, when it presents itself, I am able to recognize and accept that unknowable, untaggable thing that makes RAAM transcendable whether we finish or not.

God in the full dairy pail.

The Third thing that makes water water.

What's the thing I will learn to believe in over the next six months that will become the thing that just is?

What will be my faith?

inspiration

2006-12-14T14:53:00.000-05:00

Positive

2006-12-14T07:19:00.000-05:00

Recently I've come to realize how pessimistic I've been in the past, how resistant I've been to the power of positivity. Take this for example, a ridiculous and simple thing: my lovely friend Kira - a deliciously positive person herself - lives in New York and works in the same building that Deepak Chopra lives in. When she told me this I felt this strong urge to...I don't know what...but it was positive. I felt positive about Deepak Chopra and that surprised me. Deepak Chopra's a positive guy, right? I don't know - I've never read him and I don't know that I want to start - but what I know about him is that he's a positive guy with a positive message that has resonated with millions of people. It wasn't too long ago that I poo-pooed the power of that, played down it's medicine.

That's what it is. It's medicine. Preventitive medicine and while I'm not about to subscribe to chat rooms and book clubs dedicated to self-help I do find myself willingly taking the one-a-day positive pill.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown - yeah, yeah, whatever, but it's true and there's a bigger message in here. My business partner Zark has taught it to me or, more accurately, I have learned it from him. In the beginning I was the cynic to his Pollyanna. He'd jump around the office and spin absolutely everything around to the positive. It was so tiring. But it slowly started to settle with me that this was a great thing as everything sort of floated on it's power. I was being affected by his positive power. We were/are under a tremendous amount of pressure and it's simply easier to deal with through rose tinted glasses. I remain the cynic but I'm a happier, more positive cynic and it's happened naturally.

Thanks Zark. Thanks Kira.

I do believe that my compass has another point in 'Positive'. Two more and I can officially induct the next four points, add them to 'strive' 'resonance' 'sustainability' and 'torque'. There will be a ceremony.

Then I'm going to tattoo the compass on my thighs so I have something to guide me through a very tough seven days next June.

And beyond that.

HOPE

2006-12-14T07:12:00.000-05:00

Bikes and Kids

2006-12-13T10:05:00.000-05:00

Below is an email to our contact at The Foundation. I like this idea. It's two pronged actually - the other thing Katie is to find out (as referenced in the first line) is whether we can get a session with the kids at the hospital, bring them up to speed on what we're doing and then have them paint our bikes. It'd be cool. We could get blank frames from whichever bike manufacturer sponsors us and have the kids paint them with the right paint. They'd go back to the factory, get sealed and decaled and then we'd ride the hell out of them 4100 kms across The States. Then, at our odyssey-ending gala next July, we'd auction the bikes off along with a host of other awesome stuff.

The email...

Hi Katie,

Understood. So while you’re finding that out perhaps you could attach this other initiative to the request.

Pedal Partners – would be great if Sam and I could each establish a dialogue – email, the odd visit etc. - with one specific patient. This person could be our individual pedal partner. We would report to them what’s happening along the way, ask for advice, give advice, basically just produce a two-way street of inspiration. Makes the experience a fuller one. And then, don’t know exactly how it works at the hospital, but the appointed partner could share his/her experience with other patients at the hospital creating another sub-community on this adventure – both theirs and ours.

If there is someone at Child Life you would like me to speak with directly please pass on my name and email address.

Thanks Katie. I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass but in the end we will all benefit.

Best,

Christopher

What is RAAM?

2006-12-13T09:43:00.000-05:00

The following FQA was lifted from the RAAM website - raceacrossamerica.org

Race Across America 2007

Oceanside to East Coast Seashore
Solo race start Sunday, June 10, 2007 – 9:00 AM local time
Team race start Tuesday, June 12, 2007 – 1:00 PM local time

Most Frequently Asked Question about RAAM 2007

The Race Across America, or RAAM, has established itself as a new and dramatic American tradition, respected worldwide for the sheer magnitude of its challenge. RAAM is the most recognized and longest endurance annual cycling event in our world today. Competitors must travel over 3,000 miles in 9 days to be competitive. They do so by racing approximately 22 hours a day over mountains, across deserts and through the manifestation of pain and doubt the likes of which are unparalleled in almost any other athletic endeavor on earth. Required sleep stops will be continued in 2007. (Enduro and Traditional is solo riders choice.)

Unlike other famous races like le Tour de France, RAAM has no stages. There is no drafting and the race is live to the very end. From the start to the finish, it is a single stage race, a battle against the vast environmental conditions encountered and the rider's own mental and physical capacities. The men and women who compete as soloists or as team participants are dedicated and driven athletes who are comprised from an international field of professionals from all walks of life.
The Race Across America is an event so staggering that merely to finish is for most, the accomplishment of a lifetime. RAAM inspires everyone that it touches. A monumental race contested with the utmost of sportsmanship and zeal, truly, RAAM is larger than life. A breeding ground for champions, a testing ground for elite riders and a shining example of the strength of human spirit.

General Race Information

On June 10, 2007, the solos depart on the 26th annual Race Across America which begins in Oceanside, California. Competitors climb over 110,000 feet while crossing 14 states in their 3,043 mile campaign to the finish line on the east coast location (to be announced in October), approximately 9 days later. Teams start 2 days later on Tuesday, June 12th and finish 5-7 days later. Divisions included in the race are Male/Female soloists, Tandem, 2 or 4 person Teams, and Corporate Teams (8 person) There will be a separate division of 24 Hour and 48 Hour Corporate Challenge riders from Oceanside to Flagstaff AZ and Durango CO respectively.

Current Records
Solo Men: Pete Penseyres, (1986) 8 Days 09 Hours 47 Min. - 3,107 miles - 15.40 mph / 5,000 km - 24.78 kph
Solo Women: Seana Hogan, (1995) 9 Days 04 Hours 02 Min. - 2,912 miles - 13.20 mph / 4,686 km - 21.24 kph
2 Person Team: Team Coast To Coast (2004) 6 days 14 Hours 7.Min. - 2,958 miles – 18.71 mph
4 Person Team: Action Sports (2004) 5 days 8 Hours 17 Min. - 2,905 miles - 23.06

Where does RAAM start?
RAAM will begin in Downtown Oceanside, California on the waterfront by the pier, near the Ampithearer (300 N. The Strand).

What are the starting times?
Solo Racers and 24 & 48 Hour Corporate Challenge teams will start on Sunday, June 10th at 9:00 A.M. (PDT). The 2, 4 & 8 person Corporate Teams start on Tuesday June 12th at 1:00 P.M. (PDT).

Where does it finish?
We will finish on the eastern coastline of the Atlantic ocean (we will update the finish location by 1/15/07).

When does RAAM finish?
Week of June 17th, 2006. Team Riders begin to finish as early as Sunday, June 17th, and Tuesday, June 19th for Solo. Riders must finish by final cutoff time of Friday, June 22rd at 2:00 p.m.

Where does the 2007 route go? (Route Changes available on website).
We head east out of Oceanside via local roads toward Lake Henshaw (on CA 76), a few miles west of its terminus at CA 78. Moving on to Salton City (at junction of CA 86 and Imperial County road S22) and then on to Chiraco Summit (on I-10, on to connect at its junction with Box Canyon Rd. and on to Blythe CA. Some challenging climbs occur in the first 100 miles that will be compounded by the heat of the desert. Some of the best scenery in the southwest is presented going through Arizona and Colorado with some exciting down hills and climbs. The spires of the world famous Monument Valley, historic Durango, Colorado and challenging heights of Wolf Creek Pass combined to inspire and challenge riders and crews alike. A real view of the American heartland expands for a thousand miles or so passing such notable places as Kansas City, St. Louis and Indianapolis. Farther east the route is still to be determined and will be announced in October, 2006.

What media coverage will the race receive?
We expect to repeat in 2007 with portions of the race aired on the Weather Channel. Most television, radio station and newspaper in the area of the start, finish and along the route will receive personal updates during the months and weeks before the race arrives. 2006 coverage included over 90 television news/sports reports in 14 US markets plus newspaper coverage with a circulation over 14 million. In addition a number of magazines with circulations totaling over 1 million published stories and articles about the race. Additionally European TV, press and includes coverage of similar scope and breadth throughout Europe. Expect more live webcam coverage from the RAAM website during the race.

Morph

2006-12-13T09:25:00.000-05:00

This was the ride that changed cycling for me. It was the last 50 kms of a 200 km day spent in reflective silence.

I realized that by challenging myself doing something I love I could give back at the same time. Mutual growth of community and self.

Was this my call to adventure? I don't know but trust that this will make itseslf clear with time.

Letter to Al

2006-12-12T07:22:00.000-05:00

Dearest Al,

I’ve been meeting with people this past week regarding my RAAM bid in June, 2007. Everyone I’ve talked to says that it’s a story that has to be told. I plan on telling it. In print I plan on telling it.

Thinking you/we should tell it on screen.

On June 12, 2007 myself and A.L.L. - the disease my brother succumbed to 35 years ago - Survivor Sam Babe are going to leave Oceanside, CA and ride our bikes 4,048 kms to Atlantic City. We will ride 2 hour shifts, 24 hours a day for what we think will end up being just shy of 7 days. We are doing it to raise funds and awareness for Sick Kids Foundation and Sick Kids Hospital respectively.

It’s all about the ‘why’.

The ‘why’ is what gets you through it. My buddy, 3 Time RAAM-er, Kevin Wallace says you can never lose sight of your ‘why’. You do and your done. He also says that you will butt right up against losing sight of it. He says you butt up against a lot of things riding RAAM and it’s those physiological, mental, and spiritual precipices that make the trip exactly that: a trip.

What’s our ‘why’? I can tell you mine. My first why is my community. Sick Kids has been at the forefront of pediatric medicine forever. They’ve helped my family and the families of people I love. I pledged 3 years ago that if RAG became a thing and I gained the sort of exposure that I could leverage to help I would pounce on it the first chance I got. I have that chance.

My second why – and that is not to rate them, because this is as important if not more in terms of longevity – is that this is my ‘hero’s journey’. We talked about this some when discussing ‘The Break’ - a fictional show about ‘the hero’s journey’. This is the real life version. I’ve been extended the call to adventure and I want to answer it. I want to stare down into the abyss and make the leap. I’m scared shitless and have real doubts about whether I can put my body and mind into that state of suspended reaction to pain and negativity. But I very much feel the need to try.

Sam will have to tell you his ‘why’.

What’s your ‘why’? It seems to me that this idea is so far up your alley you’re probably out in the middle of the street at the other end already.

Let’s make this show. Magee TV and Georgian. ‘IT’S ALL ABOUT THE WHY.’

Best,

Christopher

raceacrossamerica.org

S.K.R.A.A.M is Born

2006-12-12T06:32:00.000-05:00

Feels like I'm rushing to get this up. Probably because I am. My ToDo list has become gargantuan and while this blog feels non-priority I'd say it's a big mistake to think that. Recording this has to be priority number up there, both for posterity and for organizational reasons.

So, from the beginning. How did this start?

Reader's Digest Version - I promised myself a long time ago that if Rent-A-Goalie - a television show that I work on - became a thing, and I gained any sort of purchase on celebrity influence, that I would work hard to wield it for good stuff. My brother's death at Sick Kids and the more recent birth of my son - he is healthy but you never know - gives the Hospital a big place in my heart. Kids are where it's at - potential, future, innocence, helplessness, fight fight fight. Giving my son the tools and the room to do what he has to do is my parenting philosophy - this translates to a grander scale approach at the hospital. I'd like to do my bit.

So...the show's a hit and I get my right arm guy - Baby Z - to try and get me in at The Foundation - the charitable wing of the hospital. It's a slow grinding process.

Cut to: Bell Celebrity Ball. I get a last minute invitation. My mentor, Al Magee, attends with his lovely wife Mel and they happen to be sitting beside Michael O'Mahoney, President of the Sick Kids Foundation. Introductions all around. I tell Michael the story of my brother and then get it in my head to tell him of this idea - only I make it sound like more than an idea. I make it sound like a concrete plan. Mr. O'Mahoney, I say, I want to participate in RAAM - Race Across AMerica - to raise funds for the Hospital For Sick Kids. I bring him up to speed on RAAM, building it up with the story of my buddy Kevin Wallace who has raised over 3 million dollars for a Breast Cancer Facility - built in his mother's name - at the Trillium Centre. I tell Mr. O'Mahoney that I'd like to do the same for Sick Kids. It is my intention to integrate my job with my passions with my life with my cause. Multi-platform life-living where everything is to everything else's benefit.

Mr. O'Mahoney loves it. Now, in hindsight, let me say that it is Mr. O'Mahoney's job to love something like this. I think, though, that it's safe to say that the Foundation receives thousands of these cockamamie ideas daily. How many come to fruition? Probably not many.

I leave the Ball excited nonetheless.

Then the signs started popping up and the train gains steam and before I know it I'm up to my eyeballs.

A few days after the Bell Ball I find myself on Front Street. I never go to Front Street. A guy parks illegally by the fire hydrant in front of me. This is notable because there was no parking on the street - the only way he could have parked anywhere near me was to do so illegally. This man's name was Paul and his car was emblazoned with the stickers of bike-related companies - the most prominent being Blue Bikes. He tells me he's here to deliver a bike to a lawyer who likes to ride. I ask him if his company likes to sponsor teams riding in RAAM for Sick Kids Hospital. He gives me his card and says let's talk about it.

Then the lawyer walks towards us and I almost fall off my feet. Seriously. I am in full overblown, overwrought reaction to a man walking towards us.

Why?

Flashback to Tour For Kids this past August. There's this guy riding the ride who crashes on the first day. He bows out of riding in any group - simply does all 800 km on his own. He is like a ghost for those four days - riding along unbowed by anything. I don't know his name or his story but he is in my peripheral vision throughout. At the farewell picnic I approach him and his lovely girlfriend and say that I don't know what it is but I think I should have your number. We need to at least make that connection. This guy's name was Sam Babe. (I am going to post my Day One Journal from the Tour For Kids in case none of you believe me. So genuine was this non-meeting/meta meeting that I call him Sam Bake, not Babe, in the journal.)

We didn't make contact post-ride but when I started thinking about doing RAAM I started thinking about Sam. I knew it was he whom I wanted to ride it with.

And when I put it to the gods as an idea the gods have Sam Babe walk up to me on a street in a part of town I never go to.

In front of a guy peddling bikes out of the back of his car.

Sam, I ask, feel like doing RAAM with me next year to raise money for Sick Kids Hospital?

He gives the only answer I may have been comfortable with at that moment and easily the scariest one I could possibly think of - I don't need to think about it, sorry what's your name again...right, Christopher. I don't even need to think about it.

Yes.

Why didn't he have to think about it? How do you commit to an excrutiatingly tough mental, physical, spiritual experience without giving it a moment's thought?

Because you've already gone through one and come out the other side.

Sam Babe is an A.L.L. (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia) Survivor. I found out his story later. Same disease that took my brother nearly 40 years ago.

So...as a way of explaining what happens next and for a brief description of RAAM I will post a letter I sent to my mentor Al shortly after that. Al's son was diagnosed with A.L.L. at the age of 4. His son is now 9 due in part to the awesomeness of Sick Kids Hospital. I'll post that letter separately.

Before I do that understand that, at this point in the process, the whole thing is nothing but a dream, an idea. RAAM itself is an abstract concept, as is working for the hospital. Even A.L.L. I know very little about. There is a desire and a possible adventure hovering about but that's all it is - possibility, potential, and a few big signs - billboards actually - to follow this one through.

But I've never been a follow-througher. I've always been an ideas guy.